On Power

Sometimes I do these short posts with no tags. When I want to share but I don't want my words to be easily found. Posts that get pushed away by everything I do to forget, to be happy.

Power is a great thing, right? I mean it's made out to be that way. Sought after. And it is in some ways.

Power can be control. It can be independence. It's confidence and certainty. It's being able to do things on your own. Being able to change things for the better. I could list more but all I see right now is the power I don't want to have.

Pets and euthanasia. I know to some of you reading this, the weight of the topic has suddenly dwarfed to nothing. But for any other pet owner, you're still feeling as much a burden as I am. I've gone through putting a few pets to sleep, yes, but the third dog from my childhood is at that point right now. Hell, we even have a highly likely time frame: tomorrow.

I hate it. Who am I to take something - anything - else's life? Who am I to decide when enough is enough? Sometimes it's clear. Sometimes, like with the other dog from my childhood, the suffering is beyond obvious. It's heartbreaking. You can see the struggle in them as they try to greet you, because as much as they love you and want to greet you cheerfully, they just can't.

I don't see that with Luna. But we hear her crying, we know she's in pain, we see her shake as she goes down the stairs. We see the blood that could mean the cancer has spread.

I wish I had more patience. I wish I've done things differently. We never know how short time is until it's too late, right?

I know tomorrow she may sleep her last time, but she doesn't. And I'll continue to know that as many times more in the future as I have pets. I'll know when we call it a day. I'll know when that life isn't worth sustaining. I'll make that call, call that judgment. And I hate it.

It's not right. I don't want that kind of power.


MAC's Bao Bao Wan Sneak Peek

It feels like forever since I last wrote about a MAC collection. Trust me - they've been coming out and I've still been purchasing things here and there from them - I just haven't been on top of my reviews. To be honest, this Sneak Peek post really feels like a waste of time, because the products I purchased from MAC's Bao Bao Wan collection - the collection's lipsticks - are mostly sold out, both online and at MAC counters.

MAC has this obsession with making limited edition products extremely limited, and I have to say the company's collaboration with jewelry designer Bao Bao Wan was perhaps the most limited collection I've personally experienced to date. First the online release was pushed back, then it magically launched online for retailers that were supposedly not receiving the collection, then people were able to order products before they officially launched at one of said online retailers, then MAC released the collection one day earlier than officially announced on its own site...people were placing phone [pre]orders at counters, counters were sold out before the doors opened, shipments were never received...have I traumatized you yet?

It was insane. The true center of all this chaos was one particular lipstick, "Lavender Jade," which I somehow managed to purchase [over the phone from a store across the country]. It shouldn't come as much of a surprise, then, that I don't have the lipstick yet to share with you. I wouldn't even be surprised if it never made it here, LOL.

Anyway, what I do have to share quickly with you today are the collection's other three limited edition lipsticks: "Forbidden Sunrise," "Burmese Kiss," and "Romantic Breakdown." Let's sit back and enjoy those, then, right?


Sakamoto Maaya: Shiawase Ni Tsuite Watashi Ga Shitteiru 5-Tsu No Hoho/Shikisai (LE) + First Press/External Bonus (01/28/15)

Okay everyone, say it with me: Shiawase Ni Tsuite Watashi Ga Shitteiru 5-Tsu No Hoho -

/ Shikisai. God damn.

That mouthful up there, out just over a month ago on 01/28/15, is Sakamoto Maaya's first release for the year of her 20th anniversary, and currently her most recent single. I preordered my limited edition copy back in November and received my precious package the first week of February. As such, I've been listening to this single for a generous month. I should have published this review a long time ago, clearly.

Due to the enormous delay, I'll be publishing only one post for this single, as it would be embarrassing to delay the full review further by splitting it into two parts. Today, then, we will be admiring the limited edition copy with its first press/external bonuses, and I will share my thoughts on that which matters most: the single's content, some of Sakamoto's latest work.